​My boss is scaling down and pushing me to start my own company. He is going to send me all the work he intends to turn down. I am trying to navigate the incorporation process alone, but really I am terrified and keep looking for ways to back out of this…is this normal?

Sorry if this doesn’t meet the sub guidelines, I’m just struggling and I really need advice from those of you in this community who may have gone through this already. Thank you in advance.

I feel like I am just constantly trying to psych myself up that this could be a good thing, but every other part of me is absolutely terrified about going out on my own.

I am a structural engineer with 13 years of experience. Back in February, at my yearly review, I asked my boss about ownership interest, he said he would think about it. After a few months, he revealed that he no longer has the passion for running this company, and offered to either: slowly transition ownership of this to me, or help me start my own company and send me the work he no longer wants.

I chose option 2 because the thought of running this beast is scary (small biz, only 6 employees, but still). Starting a company myself I can start as small as I want to slowly build; that feels more realistic for me.

My boss has been encouraging and somewhat helpful, but also very pushy about me breaking off; he is eager for me to cleave so he can start turning down work. I have been trying to navigate the whole incorporation process essentially alone, which is already a taxing process, but I’m also spiraling with my anxieties about being on my own.

The reasons I am for this:

The only part of me that wants to do this is thinking: You will never get a better start out of the gate, where you have someone willing to toss you work to get started. Everyone else in your position has to pound the pavement for work. You have no mortgage, no kids, and a great deal on rent, so relatively low risk. You have always been curious about ownership, whether you could handle it and whether the juice is worth the squeeze If you don’t do it, it will probably always nag you that you didn’t try It’s really about money. Starting your own company could be the only shot you get at securing your future and building intergenerational wealth. I feel shame about this point. It’s just greed…but it seems in the US the only way is to start a company.

Okay those are the fors, and my againsts:

It has been impossible to get answers from people on what I should do. Should I do a PC or PLLC, should I try to file myself, should I speak with an accountant first, should I speak with a lawyer first, do I need to hire a lawyer in each state I want to work in, should I go with one of these e-file LLC services, should I go with a Registered Agent servce…no one is willing to give me any tangible advice. I’m not a business major, or a lawyer, and I barely know the questions to ask. Every obstacle I face in this process, my first reaction is to slink back and retreat from all of it. The only thing keeping me going is the external pressure from my boss, who is eager to cleave, and the fact that I have already told some of my friends and family I am doing this, and don’t want to play the fool. I keep thinking about that saying: “The warrior sees everything as a challenge; the ordinary man sees everything as either a blessing or a curse.” I would easily put myself into the latter bucket.. at least as my gut reaction. When I originally asked my boss about ownership interest, I didn’t want to be a solo business owner, I wanted to be a partner. I like the idea of having another member at my level who I can bounce ideas off of. Before now, I never really thought about going out on my own. There are certain risks inherent in my industry. I am good at my job and I know my shit, but I just thinking about “what if I miss something, what if I get sued, what if I don’t know how to do something?” I am not even able to consider the usual start-up risk of “you might lose money for a few years,” more the existential risks. I don’t have an entrepreneurial bone in my body. I hate being sold to, and I hate selling to others. I don’t want to manage employees, or have to worry about providing health insurance or payroll, or sell my services to new clients, or chase down money, or lose sleep every time there’s a snow storm or heavy winds. I have never had that chip on my shoulder that “I want to do things better than my past bosses did.” My mindset is just locked on “anything that could go wrong, will go wrong eventually; it is just a matter of time.” And that if it will happen in the future, it might as well be happening right now (thanks Kurt Vonnegut for that mentality).

Realistically I am selling the idea to myself as “just give it a year and if you hate it, shut it down and go to work for someone else again.” Is that really a healthy mindset to start something like this? Aren’t I just dooming myself to fail?

Is all this shit completely normal when stepping into this world? Does it get better? Does everyone who starts a company just “know” that they want it? Do I just need to tough out this part and start getting work and it will all get better? It doesn’t feel like it. I all just feels like an impossible mountain. I’m in my head and have no one to talk to about it. I have not felt any joy in the last few months since my boss and I started having conversations about this.